Fanon:The Wiki Undone

After Thomas died...
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"Where the hell am I?"

Thomas looked around. He saw he was in the clouds. There was a gate to heaven. Standing right there was... a guy with a beard. Thomas walked over to him.

"Oh, hey, welcome to heaven. Tell me your name and we'll get you situated."

"Thomas."

"Son, there are a hella lot of Thomases. Which Thomas are you?"

"Um, Thomas Reeves Jr."

The guy opened a portal into some secret government files. He pulled out one that had Thomas's life in it. The guy read it. First he had a confused look, then disgusted. He put down the file.

"Um, we can't really let you in since you sexually harassed someone. Someone called... Wooden? Oh, and you committed numerous internet crimes as well as killing millions of autistic people and eradicated their existence."

"I SAVED THE WORLD THAT TIME!!!!"

"A war crime's a war crime, sonny. How about you check in with Hell over there, he'll help you out."

Thomas looked back. He saw a portal leading to hell. He walked inside and saw a demon at the gate.

"Oh, you're the guy who heaven rejected. The heaven guy called me. Lemme see your files." The demon read them and let out a disgusted laugh.

"This is very incriminating, but I'm afraid we can't let you in here. Lemme go chat with the heaven guy."

The two walked over to heaven. "What are you guys doing here?!" the heaven guy exclaimed.

"I came here to talk about Thomas here," the demon said.

The heaven guy and demon got closer together as Thomas stepped back. They took a look at the files, talked together, and eventually got into a full-blown fight. Heaven then calmed down the demon and they talked together some more. Then the two approached Thomas.

"We've decided to work out a deal," the heaven guy said. "We'll give you one last chance at life, as long as you can avenge your killer. Then, when you die eventually, we'll decide where you go."

"Alright, what are you waiting for? Send me back!"

"Slooooooww down, cowboy, we can't just send you back and kill Squirrel. We gotta make you do it discreetly. We'll give you a new identity."

"Ah... actually sounds like a good idea."

whoosh

Chapter 1: Percy
Before Thomas went on his journey, he had to ask someone something. He went to someone's house and knocked on the door.

Someone opened the door and said, "Oh, hey Thomas!"

"SHHH, call me Percy, Squirrel's clones are everywhere now."

"What?! Did I miss something?"

"I'll tell you on the way there. We'll be picking up some other friends, too. I can't do this all by myself. Now, get in the car."

Soon, Thomas had gathered an entire group of veterans from GC and the wiki. They started to drive over to the house.

"Alright, you guys. Here's what happened. Basically, we all wanted to meet up at our old wiki clubhouse, but there was a clone machine inside. Basically, the wiki's gay trans furry got power hungry and an entire war occurred. I was killed by Squirrel, but heaven and hell wouldn't accept me, so they gave me a second chance to kill Squirrel."

"Tommy, I don't think this will work out," someone said.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan this time."

"This time?"

The group soon arrived at Squirrel's headquarters. Inside, one of Squirrel's clones said, "Welcome. What are you here for?"

"A job interview," Thomas replied.

"Very well. I will let Master know."

Thomas's group waited for 1 hour, till the clone came back and said, "Master is calling you."

The clone walked the group over to Squirrel's office. "There he is guys, the gay transgender furry himself," Thomas whispered.

"Welcome to Squirrel Empires. What can I do for you?" asked Squirrel.

"My name is... Percy. These are my alli-I mean cronies, James, Wendy, Dan, and Bob. We'd like to work for you."

Chapter 2: Over to the Cucumber Store
"That's odd. You came to me for a job after I conquered the wo- I mean what are your specialties?"

"I'm autistic," said one.

"Excellent. You guys are hired."

'Percy' and his cronies walked out of the room. He murmurred, "I'm gonna kill him later."

"Alright everyone," Percy said. "We're going to visit some old friends."

Everybody got in the car and they drove west out of the forest. It was a long, long drive.

"I still can't believe you worked for both Squirrel and SOTI! I think Squirrel is really in the wrong after he called me a p*do," one of Percy's cronies said.

"Uh... Percy, can I uncensor it?" another one of Percy's cronies asked

"Shut up, we're here," Percy said at last. He parked the car in front of a place that said, "Vacina's Cucumber and Bread store."

"Hello! Welcome to Vacina's Cucumbers!" said Vacina, the cashier and store owner as the group walked in.

"Hi, we're looking for a guy named Mweble," Percy said to Vacina."

"Of course! All heil our lord Mweble!" Vacina cried, and bowed down, as a hologram of Mweble shone down on everybody.

"Fudge! GET OUT!" Percy cried.

"Hold up..." Vacina muttered. He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Percy, and said, "HALT RIGHT THERE!"

"Ay... did you find us?" Wendy asked.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know who you guys are!"

Percy started to sweat horribly.

"You're the CEO of the cucumber industry! Please, come and stay at my humble cucumber," Vacina said positively.

"Oh..." Percy shivered. "Sorry, but we have to go to another cucumber farm. Uh, here's some holy cucumber dust!" Percy replied, as he threw a bullet on the floor. Then he pulled his group out of the store and into the car.

"I'm so happy today!" Vacina sighed.

Everyone got in the car and drove away. They all calmed down after some time.

"That was quite a lucky break," James said.

"Exactly. But I think I should be president of the cucumber industry. After all, I do know so much about cucumbers."

"Okay, but that doesn't automatically make you president," Wendy began. Then she spotted a few tents in the distance and screamed. "Percy, LOOK OUT!"

Percy looked ahead and gasped. He slammed on the brakes, but it was too late! The car took out the camper's tents!

"Ugh..." Percy breathed as the dust cleared. There goes my ca-"

Before he could finish his sentence, someone slapped him in the face and yelled, "Who the deuce are you bitches?!"

Percy looked at his mugger and stared. His hood was on so no one could see his real identity.

His mugger was Shin. Percy had crashed into SOTI's camp.

Chapter 3: What's your deal, Stranger?
"Hey! What do you think you're doing, crashing into our camp? Are you sane?" Shin started screaming at Percy.

Percy didn't say anything. He just eyed Shin courageously.

"Actually, are you sane?" Percy replied.

"Hang on, I recognize these people in your car!" SOTI said. "That's Olivia, Ben, Toma, and the Trapper Clicker crony!"

"Who are you?" Shin asked.

"This is moving way too fast," Percy grumbled. He got in the car and began to drive away, but Shin and SOTI jumped in at the last second.

"Oh, just our luck!" Toma cried.

"Take off his hood!" Shin yelled to SOTI. SOTI started crawling over the seats and people over to Percy.

"Liv, I'm gonna need you to take over the car for me," Percy whispered to Olivia.

"Right on, Percy!"

And so they quickly switched seats. Percy shook his head rapidly, but SOTI kept his hands hard on. Then there was trouble. Olivia was so distracted, she didn't see the rock underneath the tire!

The car was flipped over and everyone was yanked out of there. Percy's hood... had came off.

"THOMAS?!"

"You're supposed to be dead!" SOTI yelled.

"Heaven nor hell would accept me, so they gave me one more chance."

"Sounds about right."