Fanon:Toasted's baby bar fight

This was made for this Fanon:Fanfic Competition! (by WB)

''The current setting is a bar in the Midwest, which is pretty much the middle of nowhere. 2 men are talking, (Steve and Wild Goose) about recent hunts.''

''The current setting is a bar in the Midwest, which is pretty much the middle of nowhere. 2 men are talking, (Steve and Wild Goose) about recent hunts.''

Steve: Yeah I shot me an 8-point buck a couple weeks back

Wild Goose: God damn! you ought to get that one stuffed, I know a good taxidermist if you need one

Steve: Yeah I took it down to get it stuffed yesterday, it'll end up taking a whole week and a half before it's finished

''The bathroom door swings open, and the 2 men look back to see who opened it. To their surprise it was a baby.''

Steve: What in the hell are you doing here little man?

A Baby: I was taking a whizz, you got a problem with that?

Wild Goose: Why the hell are you here all alone? You're a baby!

A Baby: Bartender, I'd like to buy these men a drink.

The baby goes and sits next to Steve and Wild Goose.

Steve: All right, what in the tarnation is your story? Why the hell is a child out here in the middle of nowhere?

Wild Goose: And why the hell are you in a bar?

A Baby: I've been on the run for a while, and I always get a little thirsty?

Wild Goose: Who could you be on the run from?

A Baby: A monster. Another baby, a different baby...

Steve: Is this baby like you, talkin and whiskey drinkin?

A Baby: He is stronger than I am, and much smarter.

Wild Goose: And why is he chasin you?

A Baby: He hates his name "A different baby" He thinks that if he kills me, he'll be the only talkin baby left, and won't feel like I'm his superior.

Steve: You done said he was stronger than you, so ain't he already your superior?

A Baby: I don't know how he thinks, he's gone crazy trying to hunt me down.

Wild Goose: That sure is one crazy baby, anyways Bartender I'd like another whiskey.

Bartender:

Wild Goose: You alright Mr?

''The bartender falls over. Steve, Wild Goose, and A Baby look over the counter to see the bartender on the floor with hole in his head.''

Steve: HOLY SHIT! He done got shot!

Wild Goose: HOW IN THE HELL HE GET A HOLE THROUGH HIS SKULL?

A Baby: Oh no...

The door to the bar opens behind them, and a small dark figure walks through.

The Small Dark Figure: You can run, but you can't hide. Your days are numbered.

A Baby: How could you find me here? I blew up that hospital you were stuck in!

The Small Dark Figure: I do so much more that survive a mere explosion...

Wild Goose: Wait a sec, is this the different baby you've been tellin us about?

A Baby: Yeah, and we're dead.

A Different Baby: You choose the wrong baby to get a drink with.

''A different baby leaps forward into a baby, tackling him into loads of bottles. A baby grabs broken glass and stabs a different baby in the shoulder.''

A Baby: Can't you just leave me alone??!?!

A Different Baby: I WILL BE THE LAST BABY LEFT!!

Steve: What in the fuck are we supposed to do?

Wild Goose: Maybe we should shoot 'em, that different baby is pretty deranged

''Steve and Wild Goose pull out their pistols and start shooting at the wrestling babies on the ground. A bullet nails a different baby in the elbow, but he seems unfazed.''

A different baby: You think a little lead will kill me? You are some fucking idiots. throws a baby at steve, which knocks steve out.

Wild Goose: Hey man, I wasn't even aiming for ya, I just was 'bout to leave anyways...

A Different Baby: Nice try you pussy.

''A different baby throws a broken bottle at Wild Goose's neck, which then caused Wild Goose to bleed to death. A Different Baby then uses the same bottle to stab steve in the chest.''

A Baby: They didn't even do anything to you! You didn't even know them!

A different baby: Neither did you. They were getting on my nerves.

A Baby: You'll pay for their lives! Whips out a gun from his ass cheeks

A different baby: How long was that in your ass?

A baby: Doesn't matter you son of a bitch. Shoots a different baby in the eye.

A different Baby ''screams like he just got his dick cut off and salt poured on the wound. He then falls on the ground defeated.''

A Baby: I can't believe it, all it took was one bullet to your eye to stop you. It was really that easy all along!

''A baby walks over to a different baby to check out his lifeless corpse. Except it isn't lifeless, or a corpse.''

A different baby: I can't believe you actually thought that did something to me. Stands up and fucking bites a baby's neck.

A baby: What the fuck? spits out blood. How the hell did you survive a bullet to the head and an explosion in a hospital.

A different baby: It doesn't matter how I survived, all that matters is that you will die now.

A baby: how does it feel, how does it feel to kill a child?

A different baby: I could not give less of a shit about taking your life. I am the only baby left now.

''A baby falls to the ground, dead. He then continues to bleed a puddle of blood around him. A different baby then lived happily ever after, being the only baby left. Until he finds more babies to kill....''