Fanon:Nate quantum tunnels to Azerbaijan

This text is a sequel to "Nate and Francis trapped in Walmart"

* sigh* It's been a week since I got stuck in that Walmart. Next time I go, it won't be right before closing hours. Not that I can go because I'm banned from it for the little stunt I pulled. I don't get it. Why me? I had to escape somehow. I did get Teddy back for betraying Francis and I. Anyway, Nate ou- Am I seeing things right now? Why am I outside, and why is it daytime? These people, assuming I'm not just seeing things, are looking at me and are saying some stuff I can't make out. Eventually, they move on. I walk around in the unfamiliar streets. I ask people where I am, but they don't understand me. Finally, I talk to someone who speaks English. She says I'm in Baku, Azerbaijan. I pinch myself. I don't wake up. I panic. Isn't this country halfway across the world from the United States?! How did I get here? I try to calm down. Maybe I performed a... "quantum tunnel"? What did Francis call it again? No time for that. I need to find a way home. I noticed that there were 500 dollars in my pocket. Maybe they "quantum tunneled" with me. Wait. What's that in Azerbaijani currency? I find a convenient money converter. I toss my dollars in there and get... $700... $800... 850 dollars in Azerbaijani currency. I go to the train station a mile away and take the train to Russia. After what seems like an eternity, I arrive. I've used almost all of my money, so this had better be worth it. That's when I found the best thing possible. A phone booth. I call my dad, explaining the bizarre situation. Two days later, Ellen and my dad came. Finally, the homeless shelter service sucked! The plane ride wasn't the best, but my dad chose the cheapest option. For real this time. Nate, the first ever person to teleport out.