Fanon:The Misadventures of Pedro Goode. (Part 1)

Another Story?
Yes, by Henry Hudson. This is meant to be a funny story, I hope you all at least chuckle a little bit. Parts 2, 3, and so on won't be continuations of previous parts. Each part is a different anecdote about the misadventures of Pedro Goode. Enjoy :)

Part 1 - The Kitchen
Pedro skipped outside while humming his favorite song: Baby by Justin Bieber. He grabbed his Nerf football and started tossing it to himself. Suddenly, a bee flew by him, and Pedro shrieked while sprinting into his backyard. He kept running until he reached the oak tree.

“I’m safe now,” Pedro relieved. His solace was broken by the sound of buzzing, and he looked up, only to see a vast beehive swarming with honeybees. He turned around and ran straight into the oak tree. However, that did not quench his fear. Without even making any expression of pain, Pedro dashed onto his porch, screaming as he climbed the steps.

“It’s locked!” shouted Pedro in anxiety. He turned around, flexed his muscles, and punched the door as hard as he could. It didn’t budge, and Pedro’s finger was now dripping blood. Then, he stretched his hot calves and began kicking the door.

As he kicked it, his little sister, Pauline, heard him and went to open the door. Just as she opened it, Pedro kicked her by accident. She fell on the ground and started clenching her stomach in pain.

“Oh, shoot!” shouted Pedro. “I left my Nerf football in the yard!” He quickly ran to get it before going inside the house.

“That went well,” said Pedro with a smirk on his face. He went into the kitchen to eat some ice cream. Then, Pedro looked at his dirty hands and thought, “I better wash my hands.”

Pedro turned on the faucet and washed his hands. But as he went to dry his hands, he slipped on the wet, kitchen floor, hitting the ground butt-first. Pedro’s moans of pain were, however, muffled by a thunderous fart; the malodorous stench filled the kitchen quickly.

The nasty smell weakened Pedro, and he didn’t have the energy to get up. He looked over at the backyard door, where his sister lay unconscious from smelling the fart.

After laying on the ground for a moment, Pedro grabbed the counter to get up. Just as he mounted his left foot, his hand slipped from the wet countertop. Pedro swiftly grabbed the dishwasher handle for balance, but as he got a hold of it, it opened and walloped him on the head. Pedro was now unconscious.

The steam from the dishwasher quickly filled the room, which only strengthened the lingering scent of Pedro’s earlier fart. The steam turned an unsanitary shade of brown, which slowly filled Pedro’s house.

A few minutes later, Pedro’s father, Ivan, returned home. He opened the front door and shut it immediately once the stench hit his nose. Ivan nearly puked from just a small whiff of the smell. He then went around the back and looked through the window, only to see Pauline still unconscious on the floor. Ivan gasped loudly. He took off his jacket to cover his nose, and he opened the back door.

“Wake up, Pauline!” Ivan shouted frantically as he pulled his daughter into the backyard and slammed the door. His jacket fell as he shook Pauline back and forth to wake her. Suddenly, she woke up and coughed several times right into her father’s face. The foul air that came out of Pauline’s mouth was unbearable for Ivan. He stood up nauseously and then collapsed right into the kitchen window.

The 250-pound man Ivan smashed through the window, sending glass shards flying everywhere. Several shards slid across the counter and fell on Pedro, who had just gained consciousness. Then, a big one fell and impaled his neck. Blood flowed out of Pedro’s mouth as he died slowly.

The end.