Fanon:Secondary Team: A Joe Moraliste Story

So before we start writing this story, I want to establish the members of the new team. There will be two lists: One for commenter-based characters, and one for original characters. We'll make the team, and then we'll start the story.

Commenter-based characters

 * DarkLight
 * 10/10
 * MavisGirl
 * Positive Elixir Trade
 * Baby-Banana
 * Domcos
 * LordNour

Original characters

 * Charlie The Dog-Man (Don't ask)
 * BubblesPal
 * Zapov
 * Elladee Page
 * The Overlord
 * Skyfall
 * General Rockard (supervisor, not a member)

Chapter 1 - The First Meeting
The new recruits to the New Anti-Polls stood eagerly in their new base of operations.

"Roll call, recruits!" General Rockard, the man tasked with supervising the New Anti-Polls, called out. He read out everyone's names.

"10/10!"

"Here!"

"Baby-Banana!"

"Here!"

"BubblesPal!"

"Here!"

"Charlie!"

"Woof!" (Present!)

"DarkLight!"

"Here!"

"Domcos!"

"Here!"

"Elladee Page!"

"Here!"

"LordNour!"

"Here!"

"Mavis Girl!"

"Here!"

"Overlord!"

"Here!"

"Positive Elixir Trade!"

"Here!"

"Skyfall!"

"Here!"

"And, Zapov!"

"Here!"

Mr. Purse walked into the room, looking at all of the recruits.

"This team is Sectional City's second line of defense." Mr. Purse said. "So Rockard here will keep this ship very tight, right General?" He turned to Rockard.

"Yes, sir!" He saluted. "We are also not on a ship, sir!"

He rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.

"And also about half of our first line of defense is going on a expedition tonight, so you're our only hope. Bye!"

He left the room.

"Only hope for what?" One of the team wondered out loud.

"Ok, team!" Rockard said. "I need all of you to tell me your name, your nickname, and your power."

He pointed to the leftmost person in the line.

"DarkLight." he said. "You can call me the Triangle. And I don't really have a superpower, I just have triangle-armor and high-tech weapons."

Rockard nodded, and pointed to the next person.

"Hi, I'm Elladee Page, and I don't really have another name. I have special abilities, including but not limited to, teleportation, laser blasts, phasing, etc. I have a lot of abilities."

She flipped her dark blue hair back.

"Okay," Rockard said. "Next."

"Ello. I'm LordNour, I don't have many powers, but will a shield and lance do alright?"

"....OK then." Rockard said.

"MavisGirl. You can call me Mavis. I am a vampire and a shapeshifter."

"I am 10/10. Just call me 10. I can shoot numbers out of my hands. The bigger the number, the more pain...to me and the target."

"BubblesPal, but Bubbles is fine. I can shoot magic bubbles out of my hands. They can hurt, heal, and move. I got these powers by using radioactive shampoo as a infant."

"Bark!"

Rockard glanced at the next person with an odd stare.

LordNour walked over to him.

"This is Charlie," LordNour said. "He was part of an experiment for my dog to come back to life. So they sowed my dogs head on a soldier's body. I can understand him. He says he's happy to help."

"Sooo...." Rockard said. "Does he have any powers?"

"Yes." LordNour said. "He has teeth that are sharper than a shark's!"

"Good. Next."

"My name is Positive Elixir Trade. I'm a Positive Elixir Trade. But you can call me Positive Elixir Trade", he jokingly added. "I can manipulate light and electricity to their fullest extents."

"A very handy asset to have in our pockets, don't you think?" said LordNour.

"Indeed", replied Rockard as he took a step away from Positive Elixir Trade with slight fear, "though I may have some fear of his powers if used for mutiny."

"I'm sure he has favorable intentions nonetheless. Next."

"I am Zapov," the orange-haired kid said. "I have psychokinetic abilities, allowing me to lift objects many times my size and weight and manipulate them with precision - all with my mind."

The rest of the team stood impressed.

Zapov pointed to his cybernetic eye. "My eye also gives me limited telepathy, and can give me limited visions of the future - but only for a few seconds, so I use it to predict my foes' attacks.

"Well, you certainly are high-tier", Rockard responded, "You will definitely be a powerhouse on this team. Next."

"I have gone by many names, but the most common name I use is the Overlord. I am a living robot, with a free will. I have the ability to change my shape and form, turning into anything that can be of aid to us."

To show off his ability, Overlord extended his arm, formed a cannon in front of his torso, and mechanical tentacles formed from his back.

"Is it just me, or does this team seem a lot more powerful than the veteran team?" Elladee asked.

"Speak for yourself," LordNour replied.

Rockard moved on. "Next."

"Call me Skyfall. I can manipulate my surroundings, giving me the ability to fold matter and distort space."

"You're right, Elladee, we do have a very powerful team", Rockard said.

"Maybe we can all get instated into the main team, instead of just a secondary team!" DarkLight said eagerly.

"Maybe. Next."

"I'm Baby-Banana", the next guy said. "I have food-based powers. I can produce them, levitate them, make them grow or shrink, and even make them come to life. I think you can guess which food I have mastered."

"I'ma Domcos The Great. Just call me Domcos." The last guy said, who looked like a cube "I can change sizes, big and small."

"Ok then!" Rockard said. "That's everyone here! We're heading to the gym now. The remaining Anti-Polls will train with you!"

The New Anti-Polls eagerly headed to their training gym.

Deep in a temple, a figure sat with a straitjacket on and a metal gag over his mouth. He continuously mumbled something under the gag.

He had been locked in this temple for a long time, in order to protect the rest of the planet from his hypnotizing song. He had been there for years, and he had never gotten loose.

All of a sudden, the temple began to crumble.

The figure looked up. Rubble was falling all around him.

One piece of rock fell on his gag, shattering it. Another ripped his straitjacket.

He was free.

He ran through the crumbling ruins, trying to escape. The entire time he belted out what he had been trying to say for years.

"HES NEVER BEEN A BORE HE WILL DRAW SOME MORE HE THINKS HES REALLY GREAT PUT CHEEZ DOODLES ON HIS PLATE HES BIG NATE!!!!"

Chapter 2 - Training With the Anti-Polls
Rockard led the New Anti-Polls into their training gym, where familiar faces were waiting for them.

"Presenting Link, Seven, Temmie, Zeroay, and Gollum of the Anti-Polls!"

Everyone waved at the Anti-Poll veterans.

"A pleasure to meet you all," Seven told the group.

"It's great to be working with you!" Baby-Banana exclaimed.

"Wait," LordNour said. "Where's Meme Machine?"

"He retired a while back," Link explained. "He hasn't been fighting with us for a while."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Here's how it's gonna go down." Gollum said. "Each of you will test your powers. It will be on a power scale from 1-50. The defensive are over here, while the offensive are over there on the other side." He pointed to two sides of the room.

"Who's first up?" said Gollum.

An embarrassed silence spread around the room like a plague. Finally, Gollum broke the silence.

"Alright, alright. Guess you guys don't like democracy very much.", he said as he sized all the new Anti-Polls again. "You!", he said as he pointed at 10/10.

10/10 walked near a big target.

"Controllable power, equal knockback." Seven read off of Rockard's clipboard. "So 10, can you shoot a 100 at that target?"

"With pleasure." He said. He shot it at the target, which made a tear through it. 10 got knocked back and clenched his chest.

"39" Seven said. "Next!"

"I'll go next," Zapov said.

"I will, too," Elladee piped up.

"Good idea, we'll do a few at once," Temmie said. "Anyone else?"

The Overlord also stepped up.

The three stood in front of more targets.

"Show us what you got," Zeroay told them.

Right away, they let loose on the targets.

Zapov lifted some projectiles in an orange psychic field, and hurled them at his target.

Elladee aimed her hands, and a blue blast shot out of each of them. They struck her target straight in its center.

The Overlord extended his arms and punched his target.

47, 39, and 42 respectively." Zeroay said. "Let's do some defensive figherse now."

LordNour walked up to a robot soldier. It launched forward, and LordNour perfectly blocked it and countered it with the shield.

Zeroay's eyes widened. "Well then, I'm impressed! First 50 of the training!"

"I will go next," said Positive Elixir Trade.

Positive Elixir Trade used his lighting abilities to make metallic warriors out of light photons. He then went and made the warriors take out a dozen soldiers while using light to create a heaven visual and trick the soldiers into thinking they were in heaven.

"44 for you, PET. Nice job," said Link.

Charlie dashed up to his owner and he whined.

"He says he wants to go next." LordNour translated.

Charlie growled at the soldier and grabbed the shield of the soldier, and flung it at him. He then grabbed it again and ran to his owner.

"Oops!" LordNour said. "He actually just wants to play fetch. Not right now, boy."

"We may need to throw dog treats at our enemies." Seven jokingly muttered to Link.

"Let's speed up now" Zeroay instructed. Darklight, Baby Banana, Bubbles, Domcos, and Mavis we're up next.

DarkLight shot triangles, Baby Banana crushed the soldier with the "Peanuts Supermarket" (Which, ironically, did not have nuts or comic in their newspapers.), Bubbles used red bubbles to wreck the target, Mavis turned into a bat and squeaked at the soldier until he couldn't take it anymore, and Domcos is just indestructible.

Domcos whispered something to Seven, something about a "secret power".

"mmhmm." Seven said. "I think Skyfall is last."

He got up and snapped his fingers. The target dissapeared and then appeared again, battered and bruised.

"Ok, that's 41. and everyone. No one got under 25, so good job!"

"Keep going, guys," Gollum told them as more targets appeared. "Show us what you're made of!"

The New Anti-Polls went to town, using their powers and weapons on the targets that came at them. This went on for a while before the veterans led them through another exercise. And then they went at it again.

Finally, at the end of the block, the recruits regrouped with the veterans.

"Well, everyone," Seven told them. "This was a great day of training. You'll become Anti-Polls in no time."

The New Anti-Polls celebrated excitedly.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion heard.

Zapov's cybernetic eye glowed. He smiled, and everyone ran outside to see what was going on.

Chapter 3 - Stupid Swarsh Invades Not-Stupid Town
The New Anti-Polls looked on at what was happening in the city.

People were standing in the streets, moving like zombies, all of them mumbling something. Some guy was running all around, crashing into buildings and flipping over vehicles. The entire time he kept singing the same thing:

"HES NEVER BEEN A BORE HE WILL DRAW SOME MORE HE THINKS HES REALLY GREAT PUT CHEEZ DOODLES ON HIS PLATE HES BIG NATE!!!!"

Everyone covered their ears to block out this horrible song.

But Temmie and Zeroay covered their ears moments too late. They turned around, looking exactly like the civilians did.

"Guys? GUYS?!" Link shouted, as Temmie and Zeroay shuffled toward them.

"Somehow this maniac is hypnotizing everyone with that stupid song!" Zapov shouted.

Just then, Swarsh set his eyes on the New Anti-Polls. He began to sing louder.

"We gotta move, NOW!" Rockard shouted.

Rockard, the veterans, and the New Anti-Polls ran from the maniac, dragging the hypnotized Temmie and Zeroay along with them.

They took cover in a building.

"Tie them down," Rockard commanded, pointing at Temmie and Zeroay.

Darklight restrained them with his triangles.

Bubbles approached them. "I'll see what I can do."

￼Elladee spoke up. "Okay, guys, we're the only ones who can fight... whoever this is."

As if on cue, the guy screamed his name outside.

"I AM SWARSH!!!"

"...Swarsh," Elladee repeated.

"But we haven't trained enough! We're not ready!" Skyfall exclaimed.

"But it's just like Mr. Purse said," Elladee told them. "We're the city's only hope."￼

"We'll help you guys," Link said.

"Let's go save our city," Gollum added.

And the New Anti-Polls left, leaving Rockard, Bubbles, and the hypnotized Temmie and Zeroay in the building.

Mr. Purse and the Council watched the destruction from the Council spire.

Mr. Purse turned to a Councillor. "Get me Joe Moraliste!"

The Councillor pushed a button on the console, and a hologram of Joe Moraliste projected into the air. You could see the other Anti-Pols behind him.

"Anti-Polls," Mr. Purse shouted. "WHERE ARE YOU?! I thought you went on a small expedition to look for a rock or something!"

"We have "the rock", as your calling it." Nathan Von Witght #2 replied from the background. "But now, we're running away from a new enemy."

"Well, while you've been doing that, we've got some crazed guy causing trouble in the city!" Mr. Purse told them.

"What?" Joe said. "Who?"

"He calls himself "Swarsh". Mr. Purse said. "And he is hypnotizing the people with the most annoying song!"

As if on cue, Swarsh's little number erupted from outside once again.

"We need you to come back!" Mr. Purse said. "The only defense we have left is Link, Gollum, Seven, and that team we saw for like 2 seconds earlier!"

"Their adventures would make a good side story." Bender said from the background.

"What happened to Temmie and Zeroay?" Nate asked.

"They got hypnotized. They're fine, but they're being treated to get that stupid song out of their heads!"

"Well, we'd love come back," Joe said "But then Zero and Dorian will track us, and they'll cause more havok on the city!"

"Well, get back soon!" Mr. Purse said."We're gonna need your help."

And with that, the Councillor ended the call.

He looked out the window of the Council spire. "Are you sure they can handle this?"

"Oh, I'm sure they can," Mr. Purse replied. "They're so powerful they might as well be on the main team."

The New Anti-Polls emerged from the building, and Swarsh kept repeating that crap.

"Everyone, CHARGE!" Zapov shouted.

"Since when you were our boss?" Gollum asked.

"Since when you all agreed to me 2 seconds from now."

They charged forward.

"Hey, buddy!" DarkLight said with earplugs on. "Welcome to the "How to remove vocal cords" class So, where are yours, my guinea pig?"

He pointed to his mouth, and Zapov levitated DarkLight up to Swarsh's mouth. He dived in.

"UHOH" He said.

"It's still gonna take time to find his vocal cords to make him stop singing!" LordNour yelled. "Let's do a thing!" They began to battle.

"YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME." Swarsh said. "ONLY DA POWER OF PLASMA CAN KILL ME."

"And that's why we're not going to kill you." Domcos said. "We don't kill our enemies in these parts."

Skyfall snapped his fingers, and made a ginormous statue of Nate appeared. Zapov took control of it with his mind and smashed into Swarsh, knocking him into "Mr. Davis' Bakery." (Which' also ironically, didn't serve lasagna.)

"Wasn't that statue dedicated to that guy who destroyed the Poll-Bots who blew up Nick-Nack single-handedly?" LordNour asked.

Skyfall and Zapov's eyes widened. Zapov gave Skyfall 100 likes. "This never happened."

Mr. Purse watched the Secondary Team go to town on Swarsh. Suddenly, one of his night patrollers (The Midknights) ran into the room with a report.

"Max, what is it?" Mr Purse asked, grabbing the report.

"It's the main Anti-Poll team!" Max said, scared. "We can't locate them!"

"Impossible!" Mr. Purse yelled. "They couldn't have gotten far!"

"If I may," the Councillor from earlier spoke up, "The energy signature from the earlier call was very strange. Almost as is isn't of this world..."

"Where could they be?!" Mr. Purse shouted.

Just then, a giant zipper appeared in the Council spire, which unzipped to reveal a dimensional rift. A pink pony popped out of it.

"Don't worry, your Anti-Polls are fine. I think they're being chased through the multiverse by a bunch of bad guys. But they should be able to defeat them."

"Who the heck are you?" Mr. Purse asked.

"Pinkie Pie, but that's not important. Your Anti-Polls will return to your world soon enough."

The pony gave a massive smile before closing the rift.

The Council just stared.

Swarsh got up in the bakery.

"YOU WILL ALL LISTEN TO MY SONG!!!"

Skyfall moved his hands. The bakery began to change shape, closing in on Swarsh.

Swarsh quickly super-jumped out through the roof and landed in front of them.

Suddenly, time froze for Swarsh. Everyone looked at Seven.

"Hey, I didn't do anything!"

Suddenly a giant face appeared above them. It had dark blond hair and glasses.

"Hey." a voice said. "I need your assistance to help out the Anti-Polls. My friend has missed a little plot detail and I need to give them a gateway. Does anyone have a portal device?"

Skyfall made one materialize out of thin air, and threw it up to him.

"Thanks, man. You're a great help. I knew it was a good idea to create you." He said as he disappeared. Everyone looked at each other.

"What.....the (HAL Laboratories) just happened?" LordNour asked.

"Ugh it's disgusting in here..." DarkLight said. "Come to think of it, how did I even fit in here?"

He shrugged the thought off. "Whatever. If I'm going to defeat Swarsh from the inside, I need to find his vocal cords. The SREMAPS anatomy is quite similar to a huma-"

DarkLight began to slip down the esophagus, and landed into the stomach. To protect himself from the acid pool, he used his triangular sheild.

It was then he remembered that the vocal cords were loacated in the large intestine.

DarkLight responded in the only sane way possible;

"Aw, badgeabers!"

"FREA. KING. DIE￼!" Domcos yelled as he began to turn red.

Swarsh grabbed some laser guns and tried to shot at the team. He hit everything but the team.

"Like a Stormtro-" Zapov started.

Everyone in the universe (Except some stupid wannabe author) then shouted "STORMTROOPERS HAVE QUITE GOOD SHOTS, YOU KNOW!"

"What....was that?" Seven asked.

"I don't know." Zapov said "But, the person typing this seems to agree with me, and that's all that matters."

"Ugh...this guy is too strong." Gollum said. "It's time for my ultimate weapon."

He pulled out 2 ginormous arm cannons that shot mashed potatoes, Return of The Jedi DVDs, and the worst of all.... A 1,632 page science book.

All of this power combined launched Swarsh across the city. He slammed into a wall.

Swarsh got up, and the New Anti-Polls waited for his next attack.

Just then, he punched himself in the face. Everyone was confused.

Swarsh looked up at the New Anti-Polls and actually spoke normally.

"Let me just say that this story just got really weird. Not only is this the second or third time that the fourth wall been broken, but a weapon that shoots mashed potatoes, Return of the Jedi DVDs, and a science textbook? And now I'm a species called a SREMAP? Just... maybe make things a bit less nonsensical from now on?"

Swarsh then punched himself in the face again, and went crazy once more, singing his song.