Fanon:Dead Gordie

Gordie does not return for ages. Nate’s stomach empty and dry. He decides to look around the mall, where he meets over 650 dead bodies around the mall. That is all he could see. He wakes up and realizes it was a dream. He goes to inspect to make sure but bumps into a girl named Carolina. Nate’s eyes turn into hearts with just one look at her. “I lost my parents, and can you help me find them?” As Nate is about to speak, she says, “Oh there you are dad!” Nate turns his head in their direction. He can’t believe who her father is. “U-U-Uncle Ted?” Nate utters in shock. “Oh, you know my dad?” Carolina exclaims. -Chad “Dimples” Applewhite

“No. No, that’s insanely impossible,” Nate said. “Why, nothing is impossible, my boy,” replied Ted. “Not without the help of magic, that is.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” Carolina asked. “Nothing, honey,” he replied and took a small pendant from his pocket. He clicked a button on it, freezing Carolina. “What!?” Nate said. Ted sprinkled lime green powder on Nate, knocking him out… -Dumb Smarto

He wakes up at none other than Artur PFloweykov's house. “Artur! Why am I here?” Nate asked. Nate was wondering this until Artur’s sister walked around the corner. Once again Nate’s eyes turned into hearts. He tried to speak but was swept up by a helicopter. He looks behind him. It was Mr. Staples! “What is g-” Nate tries to ask. “No time to interrupt.” Mr. Staples says. He quickly drops Nate from the helicopter where Nate goes so fast, he travels back in time. He looks at the building in front of him. It says Ps 38 Highschool. “1984 Prom!” Says the large words near the building. Nate sprints inside, just as they are pronouncing prom king and queen. “Ted Wright and Jennifer Aniston are your prom king and queen!” Nate’s jaw drops. -Chad “Dimples” Applewhite

Nate crFloweyed through the roof. “OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!” he screamed in pain. “At least I landed on this soft, squishy thing.” “Get off me, boy!” a young Ted yelled angrily. “Gah!” said Nate. “You broke my concentration, brat!” Ted said as Jennifer Aniston and the “prom” turned to dust. As Ted suddenly older, he chanted “Ni tult- a blade ana destroime sina interfering hinya, so lar- mime pleas, more deities!” and a wicked blade appeared in his hands. He sliced one of Nate’s hair tufts off and kicked him into a chair, which locked around Nate, trapping him. “A-hahahaha!” Ted laughed. “What are you doing?!” Nate asked. “Oh, this works perfectly,” Ted said as he brought a dummy into the room. “Perhaps your interference could be useful. Kit Kat Bar, Riordan book, I put Nate’s hair in this nook!” He placed Nates tuft of hair on the dummy and it came to life, a perfect replica of Nate! “Laptop battery, four of them, have a difference Nate’s friends cannot comprehend!” -Dumb Smarto

“Now, Go back to your own timeline. It will be IMPOSSIBLE to forget THIS Nate!” Said Ted. So, knowing the secret of time travel now, Fake-Nate got in a car and went 10000 mph to get back to 2020. Then Fake-Nate goes around helping out everyone, doing good deeds, Helping Mrs. Godfrey out, doesn’t flirt with every girl in sight, and then goes home to give Ellen a hug, and at the end of the day happily gobbles up Martin’s eggplant-raisin-tuna-raw-egg-casserole surprise. Teddy, Francis, Dee-Dee, and Chad are completely mystified and a bit scared of Fake-Nate so when he gets to the bus stop that morning (wearing a suit and tie) Teddy, Francis, Dee-Dee, and Chad all come to confront him. They brought him to Teddy’s house and asked what was wrong with him. Teddy was sipping a cup of water, and accidentally spilled it on Fake-Nate. When he did not scream at Teddy, they knew there was something wrong. Then, Francis saw something on his arm! A tag! It said," McHiggy’s Dummy making, 1984. We have sentient dummies! "Then, everyone wondered how he got here. There was one theory. They did like back to the future and went super-fast to get to 1984. It worked! Now, it was 4 against one, with the one being Ted. Arghh! He said. I know, I will disappear from existence! And he did, the 4 friends saw Nate and got him from his locked chair, and returned back to 2020. He went back to the mall and saw Carolina, where, again, his eyes turned to hearts. But her dad was a random dude this time. So, they dated, and later married, and lived happily ever after. But Nate and his friends never forgot that strange chain of events. Because… (here is the twist) They were in The Twilight Zone. -Kid Covid

The dummy’s eyes glowed red. Ted laughed maniacally as Nate’s eyesight began to fade. Before he finally winked out, a child ran up. “Martin?!” shouted Ted, dropping his powder. “TED,” shouted Martin, “You’ve terrorized P.S. 38 long enough!” “NOOOOO!” screamed Ted as Martin picked up the powder. He cupped some in his hands and blew it onto Ted. “Oz is powerful; Dorothy is meek. Grow up to be a helpless geek!” “AAAAAAAUGGH!!” Ted let out an ear-splitting shriek as he finally shriveled and died. Martin used the powder to conjure a spear, which he used to impale the dummy and free Nate. As Martin slowly became dust, Nate woke up. “Nate,” Martin said, his voice beginning to shake. “Run! Live free of this illusion created by my evil brother! Run as fast as you can and never come back!” Martin finally died. Nate ran and ran and ran. He got to the P.S. 38 football field when should he meet? Mrs. Godfrey, age 24. -Spock for SmFlowey

Nate crashed face-first into Mrs. Godfrey. They toppled back with so much speed they fell into the year 300000000. Nate looked around. “What is this place?” A man controlling the ship said, “There is a deadly virus killing us all, we need to transfer people to the planet 45O-770.” “What virus?” The man sighed. “The evil COVID-19. It’s been there for millions of years, but a strange mutation has forced us to flee.” Nate stared at the unconscious Mrs. Godfrey. He got an idea. He pulled out his permanent marker and wrote Mrs. Godzillaon her forehead. Maybe she’d get so angry she would fall back in time and life would be normal. But Nate did not know about the dangers that would come later on… -Best Commenter Ever

Nate wondered about COVID-19, “How many people have died so far?” The commissioner sighed, “Sadly, about the whole planet earth, but it is starting to spread to our planet, Deranium.” “Deranium?” Nate asked “Ye-“Suddenly a big clawed hand grabbed him from behind and ripped his head off “Hehe, puny humans.” “Mrs.Godzill- er Mrs.Godfrey!” Nate said, “Can you help?” Mrs.Godfrey scowled “Nate, why would I ever help YOU.” “Good point, I don’t know why I thought you would. See ya!” Nate fell backward into the next black hole and landed on Htrae, in the middle of a parallel universe, and on Htrae there was a mall. He landed right in the middle of an abandoned mall. “Well this is creepy.” -Doctor Cesspool

Nate waited and waited for a pretzel. It was dark. Nate went home. On the way home Nate saw Gordie but a ghost. “HeRe IS youR PrEtZel” he said Nate tried to run but Gordie was fast. He stuffed the pretzel into Nate’s mouth. Nate died of poison. And Gordie continues his hunt for PS.38 students with his pretzel. Gordie soon meets someone to help him… Nate's Mother looking for revenge on Marty. She is mad at Gordie for killing Nate and not letting her do it. They have and epic battle. 1 WEEK LATER. News: A man named Gordie has been seen murdered on the street by a woman. A boy called Nate was also murdered. Jenny sobs at Nate’s grave and is being watched by Nate’s mother. “She is my next target” “Hello little girl,” Nate’s mom says as she kills Jenny. “HAHAHAHA” she cackles like Mrs. Godfrey who speaking of which was also killed Nate’s mom. ­-Nate is Wright

Meanwhile, the hunt continues! The Ghost of Gordie runs after the kids of Earth. Then, Elon Musk shows the Tesla Model ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ that can fly on its own and at the Geneva Motor Show. Then, Francis, Teddy, Dee Dee, Chad, Artur, Jenny, and Kim run into the Tesla and fly away. But, the Ghost of Gordie can fly at the speed of sound, and the Tesla can only fly 250 mph. Then, the Ghost or Gordie flies right past the flying Tesla but dropped the pretzels. “PRETZELS!!!!!!!!!”, Chad shouts as he lurches toward one. “No!”, the rest of the crew shouts. Chad eats the pretzel. Chad faints and then steam flies out of his nose. Then, the Ghost of Chad flies through his nose. But the Ghost of Chad is the Evil Chad (the Chad in the Chad to the Bone arc)! Then, Evil Chad attacks the Big Nate Characters! “I AM CHAD TO THE BONE”, Chad screams. Nothing can stop me!!!!!! He grabs hold of the steering wheel. He drives fast, 100…120…140…175…200…210…225…250 mph!!!!!! Then suddenly, he drives toward the Moon! Suddenly, Chester gets a pretzel launcher on Earth and launches it, crashing the trunk of the Tesla, and unexpectedly getting stuck up Chad’s nose. Evil Chad inhales the poison and faints. His head sets the door opener in the rear and opens the falcon wing doors. Not only that Evil Chad falls out the door, but when the falcon doors activate, the Tesla reaches the speed of light! It reaches Pluto and decelerates, crashing into the dwarf planet of Makemake! Then, the Makemaketians, or Native Makemake people, find the rubble in the dirt buried 10 km deep. Let’s rewind 19 seconds. The Tesla crashes into the dirt, but they jump out at the last second. Then, a sandstorm carries the gang into orbit, but they realize that this is Evil Chad that was carrying them. Surprised, the gang asked what happened after Chad fainted and fell. He explained that ghosts are immortal, can fly, and are immune to poison. “I am secretly on your side,” he explains, “Those Makemaketians are evil! They will invade your planet Earth and make the Earthlings work 24/7/52 with no pay! C’mon, we must defend.” -COACH JOHN FACES FORWARD (me)

So, they defend but on the 11th of November, they launched a mega attack. But the gang was ready. They equipped high-advanced gadgets but they were outnumbered and lost. The gang was sentenced to exile for “as long as it needs”. They were exiled to a bare planet “Atto” with no resources. -Chad Applewhite the First

Francis had an idea, though! "Is this rock andesite? I hope it is because if you can smother oil onto the rock, the rock can dissolve into an "et", which can be powered using a series of electromagnetic waves and blah blah blah photons...blah blah alternative circuit...blah blah blah explosive..." Then, the Ghost of Nate returns and he has an idea. He heard that you could light andesite and could make a chemical reaction to take the universe apart slightly and could potentially make a wormhole! "Let's try it!" said the gang. 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds, 99 milliseconds, 99 microseconds, and 99 nanoseconds later, they finish building. They sit on the giant et and push in the oil in the front of the hatch. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Blast off! The rocket zooms by and through planets, leaving the gang unscathed. Then, the kids realized that they forgot to develop a braking system or airbags!!! Terrified, they zoomed through Earth and went through the entire Solar System, even the Sun (but it did not hurt them because of the miraculous speeds of Googleplex mi/s)! Then, they reached the edge of the universe, where they were sucked into the original universe, with Deranium. Fun Fact:The speed was so intense that the rocket could escape black holes. Suddenly, the rocket decelerates! The rocket had a leak in the 493954797475979577867-liter liquid andesite tank. It eventually gets sucked into a supermassive black hole, and teleports to the previous universe, exiting out of a wormhole. It lands on Earth, where the people are all very happy. They had defeated the Makemaketians (including Mrs. Godzilla and Nate’s mom) and had been exiled to Charon, Pluto’s moon! They lived in happiness forever. THE END -COACH JOHN FACES FORWARD (me)

Note: I didn't write all of the story, but this was from one of Chad "Dimples" Applewhite's add-on stories.