Fanon:Big Nate - PNPP (Principal Nichols Photo Prank) backstory (fanfic made by Ned Dickens)

Welcome to another fanfic made by Smith ghast4, AKA Ned Dickens! Before we get started, remember this is UNOFFICIAL canon, so please don't take it too seriously with the main canon of Big Nate. Also there might be a bit of nudity, but it's slapstick, not sexual, and of course there aren't any drawings, just writing. Still I suggest you only proceed if you're not highly sensitive to that kind of stuff. Enjoy!

So all you Big Nate readers have heard of Principal Nichols from Nate's school PS38, right? Well there are some things you never knew about him until this story, so hold on to your seats!

Despite having a good job being a school principal, Wesley Nichols has had a rough life recently. His two children had already moved away to college, and his wife was killed in a traffic accident last year. So now he lives with his sister Berry (16 years younger than him) and her daughter Noelle (one of the least likely PS38 students to get detention).

Mr. Nichols is a big fan of country rock singer Jimmy Buffett and was so excited about Buffett having a concert in Mr. Nichols' hometown on June 13, but sadly it's sold out before Mr. Nichols could have the chance of getting tickets.

So with his family troubles and lost opportunity to see Jimmy Buffett in concert, Mr. Nichols was feeling down. On June 13, after lunch, he decides to spend time outside by himself. He walks out to a nearby bar and ordered a few glasses of whiskey. After finishing his drinks and paying for them, he walks over to the beach, stumbling a bit because his drunken side effects were starting to kick in slowly.

At the beach, after laying his towel down, Mr. Nichols takes off his casual clothing, stripping down to just his bathing suit; a fundoshi-style man-thong. You've read that right! An overweight man in his 50s wearing a tight skimpy man-thong. The back string is hidden by his big cheeks (you know what I'm referring to) and a prominent bulge can be seen in front.

Nearby is a group of guys and gals in their 20s, around half his age. I'm talking about hot voluptuous college-age girls in well-made bikinis and fit muscular young adult dudes in fitting swim-shorts.

Mr. Nichols approaches the group, his drunken effects going up, and says, "What's up, youngsters? Allow me to join your club!"

"EW!!" the girls scream in disgust. "Get out of here, weirdo-phile!"

"YEAH!!" one of the guys yells. "And while you're at it, put on an actual swimsuit instead of a lame piece of string, 'Gramps'!"

The girls giggle at the dude's smack-talk, and the guys hi-5 each other. Mr. Nichols goes back to his spot feeling rejected, embarrassed, and not knowing what else to do.

Back at that group, one of the guys says, "Yo, I gotta go #2 in the loo. Be right back!"

The man walks over to the portable toilet, and on the way there, a piece of paper slips out of his swim-shorts pocket, which he never notices. The slip of paper gets blown around by the wind before stopping right next to Mr. Nichols, who sees it and picks it up. It's a ticket to the Jimmy Buffett concert happening in his hometown that day!

It is slightly odder for a muscular dude in his 20s to like Jimmy Buffett than it is for an overweight 50-something man, but Mr. Nichols doesn't care. He got his Jimmy Buffett ticket!

It's already almost 5pm, and the concert starts at 5:30pm, so there's no time to lose. Mr. Nichols runs out of the beach, through the streets, and into the concert. He has never been so excited and drunk in his life, so much that he forgot about his towel and clothing and left them behind. So similarly to when Archimedes was running around naked while repeatedly shouting "Eureka!!", Mr. Nichols was running around in just a man-thong while repeatedly shouting "Buffett!"

When Mr. Nichols arrives at the show entrance, he hands over the ticket. The ticket receptionist probably would've stopped Mr. Nichols due to lack of proper clothing, but the receptionist has been tired from handling attendees' tickets throughout the day, so Mr. Nichols was let in.

Mr. Nichols has the drunken exciting time of his life at the show, and concert photographers have been taking candid shots. One of them, none other than School Picture Guy, takes a really good photo of the audience, with Mr. Nichols in the foreground.

After the concert, it's already dark outside. Mr. Nichols stumbles outside, all exhausted and still feeling a bit of the drunken side effects. He can't wait to head home and rest for the night.

However, someone shouts, "HEY!!! You there!!" Mr. Nichols turns around and sees another man. It's that buff dude from the beach earlier, now dressed up 3-quarter pants and a shirt with the sleeves torn off.

The man approaches Mr. Nichols angrily, says "You got my ticket", and sucker-punches him in the face, knocking out Mr. Nichols. The dude yanks off the thong and ticket, throws them into a nearby trash bin, then runs off.

Poor Mr. Nichols... He's lying down in the sidewalk completely naked and unconscious, but after a few minutes, a passerby calls 911, and a few more minutes later, an ambulance arrives to pick him up. The paramedics call his wife Berry, and ask her and her daughter to drive over to the hospital that he has been sent to.

It's almost midnight when Mr. Nichols comes to, but he could not remember a single thing from his trip out. The doctor explains that the injury could've been worse if it hadn't been for the steel plate Mr. Nichols already had in his head, but he just needs to rest for around 3 days. Also his clothing left behind went missing (probably stolen by the guy whom Mr. Nichols accidentally took his ticket from), so the doctor let Mr. Nichols wear one of the patient gowns for the ride home.

As a result of that whole incident, Mr. Nichols follows doctor's orders and rests at home for 3 whole days, while Berry calls the school and asks to let Noelle stay home for the last week before Summer break due to Noelle being a little traumatized from that incident. With that, Mrs. Godfrey takes a small break from social studies to become the acting principal again, much to Nate's dismay, but at least there's a sub! And yes, the sub's name is Ms. D'oormat. How unfortunate for her! (see the June 13 comic)

Mr. Nichols returns to his job as principal for the last two days before Summer, but he is stressed out because we all know what the second-to-last day of school is... PRANK DAY!!

So now we get to Nate's side of the story. On the day before Prank Day, June 16, Nate already has his pranks set for the big day, such as the bubbagram and super-stretch turbo-tummy-tuck girdle for Mrs. Godfrey, and the mime for Mr. Galvin. However, Nate is running low on ideas for pranks to pull on Principal Nichols, which is unusual for Nate.

On the way home that day, Nate heard a voice in the bushes whisper to him, "Psst, kid! Wanna do the best pranks on your principal ever? Meet me at the faculty parking lot at 6 in the morning. Don't be late!"

Nate is a little unsure about that whispering voice, but he decides to take his chances. Nate goes to PS38 at 6am on June 17, and meets the source of the whispering voice, School Picture Guy! Apparently, SPG was quite the prankster when he was Nate's age and even once got arrested for a prank gone out of hand but was bailed out. SPG used to be a daredevil of pranking!

Nate watches SPG sneak a zoo-escapee python snake into the faculty restroom. Then SPG shows a life-size copy he made of the photo of man-thong-clad Principal Nichols at that Jimmy Buffett concert from the other night. Nate was in awe at what a humiliating yet golden piece of pranking material it is.

"Where would you like me to put this photo, boy?" SPG asks.

"The display case, please," Nate replies. "And those trophies have to go for the photo to be in full view."

SPG stuffs all the trophies into a big bag and puts in the photo. Nate gives him a fist-bump of appreciation then heads back to the neighborhood to meet Chad and Dee Dee. While Principal Nichols was scared of the python in the faculty bathroom, the worst for him was just around the corner. During the social studies class where Nate pulls his prank on Mrs. Godfrey, Principal Nichols inspects the halls in case of any messes caused by pranks, and once he gets to the display case, there it is. The photo. Showing Mr. Nichols in a bathing suit and a Jimmy Buffett concert! The memories return fast, and he already knows who's responsible....