How to make chinese food

its raining dogs and cats. when it rains dog and cats in southeast asia (AHEM CHINA) they eat em.

(The following is very racist, just a warning)

nom nom nom. how to make chinese food. (Note if you are planning to serve it to Americans make sure to add a gallon of grease so they will actually like it)
 * 1) Go to the pet shop
 * 2) Get a dog and a cat.
 * 3) Bring it home.
 * 4) Put it on the DAMN WOK. need some oil for meh pan.
 * 5) mi pan zu zu zu. zu zu zu. mi pan. yakakus. nam nam NAM. mi pAaaAAAAAAaAAAaAaaan ZUZUZUZUZU
 * 6) anyways, turn the stove on.
 * 7) burn the dog and cat. now, it's a hot dog.
 * 8) after your done cooking it, eat it.
 * 9) take off the hair first.
 * 10) eat it