The Continuation of the Poll Crisis (Told in the perspective of UltimateGoldMine)

Hi. My name is GoldMine. At least, that's my user on GoComics. Here on Fandom, my user is UltimateGoldMine.

I read this wiki a lot. I am aware of that PUFFA guy. I'm aware of MartySays and the date of his first poll (November 15, 2017). And I am aware of the three "Poll Wars".

I dunno. This could make a good movie or something. It could be like "Knives Out".

But regardless, it IS pretty bad. Who am I in these battles? Well, it's sort of confusing. I'm half narwhal (defender of on-topic polls only) and half anti-poll (no polls at all). I am in favor of polls as long as they have something to do with the comic, but then again, people are NOT putting things that are on-topic, they are just putting dumb things on their comments.

But this could be worse than POLLS. OHHHHH, much worse than polls. This is SPAM. MartySays announced the beginning of Poll War IV, but no, the next war could be SPAM WAR I.

My mission? To make sure that doesn't happen. See, here's the thing. Someone posts an on-topic poll, right? Then someone replies to it. THEN someone argues, and another person spams something really DUMB. Before you know it, this poll has almost A HUNDRED replies and the featured comment.

Reading The Wiki
Here's a timeline of events for you.

Starting June 8 or June 9 (I can't remember which day I started this week, honestly, might be 9) I started re-reading and reviewing the Big Nate Comments Wiki. Why did I do this? Well... I found it AMUSING. I knew it was TRUE, because I was in Poll War I, therefore I witnessed it myself. But hey, I laughed all day. I swear. I thought it was great. But then I realized that this whole thing was SERIOUS. I didn't like this MartySays guy OR his other "Says" accounts at ALL (whether they were impostors or the REAL MartySays, they TICKED ME OFF). I didn't like PUFFA, version 1 or version 2 or version 3 or (apparently) VERSION 3.5 NOW. I didn't like Heatman84 either (although I saw MartySays as the main antagonist here). The whole thing SUCKED. It was a good lesson about what could happen when total strangers have access to a public comments section.

Taking Action
I knew I had to do something to make sure another POLL WAR didn't happen.

So on the night of June 11, at 10:08, when tomorrow's comic was already put on there (as they put it on at this time for some reason), I posted this comment.

"Guys, a reminder to please not post spam here. This is supposed to be an on-topic area for talking about the comic. We don't want to start another conflict or anything. Also if you see spam, just please click the flag icon and not start an argument. I'm trying to keep this place safe. Thank you." -Me, June 11, 2020. I figured telling people to cool their jets would slow down the spam thing.

While I was on the comments section that night, making sure there was less spam on the comments section, I noticed THIS comment. "Poll: what is your least favorite poll?" -IsaiahJohn, June 11, 2020.

This WAS spam, but I ignored it that night. I didn't flag it or anything because it only had like two replies at the time. I guessed it was fine. Besides, maybe MY comment would help stop this madness and deny this guy the many replies he was hoping for. I closed my laptop and went to bed.

Okay, so the next morning, June 12, I logged onto GoComics and HOLY MACKERAL.

It seemed my comment about not putting it spam only got four replies and three likes. But I was fine with this, as I didn't want to get the featured comment or anything. I'm not a hypocrite. The thing that shocked me was that IsaiahJohn's "least favorite poll" comment had just one like, but over EIGHTY-FIVE REPLIES!!!!!