Fanon:The Adventures of SOTI and Squirrel

Soti woke up. It was a Sunday, so he needed to hit the gym. He decided to call up squirrel first. Soti then put on his crop top and rang squirrels doorbell. Squirrels grandma answered and try to cruicfy soti. Squirrel came out of the door and closet and told soti to meet him at the gym

"You finnaly decided to come out of the closet Squirrel? It's been a year and we all know your a bitch, we're proud of you being brave."-Soti

"Thanks non binary monarch, how is your hrt going?" -Squirrel

"Pretty good, but i'm scared thomas might rape me"-Soti

Cut to thomas chasing women

"Get away from me perv"-Women

"No, my queen, step on me. Your whiteness makes me blush, your elegance, your grace, make me lust for more. I can feel my heart beat thumping, like how I imagine me and you "-Thomas

Women beats up thomas with the power of feminism

"Hey guys. That was so badass"-Thomas

"He just learned that word"-Soti said whispering

"Who knew woman were fast, ha ha"-thomas

"oop, the police are comming. Hide squirrel"-soti

Squirrel hides in a garbage bin

Soti then uses his purse and smacks thomas bc thomas was looking at him.

Squirrel and soti got to the gym, and durring sotis 1st push up, the gym closed.

"Let's go home"-Soti

"Ok, but try to keep your head down"-Squirrel

Squirrel saw his uncle jamal pull out a pistol and start firring.

"It's a gang battle again"-Squirrel

"Is it always like this?"-soti

"Yeah, but on the brightside we get a day off bc of deaths"-Squirrel

"What's up ni-"Thomas said before getting shot by ten bullets.

thomas falls to the ground with a thud. squirrel and soti look at each other and roll their eyes. thomas mumbles his last word and his soul ascends to heaven. squirrel and soti ignore him.

uncle jamal drops his gun and jumps into his car, driving away. squirrel shrugs his shoulders and turns to soti. “um… yeah”. soti looks at thomas’ dead body, and then back at squirrel. “cmon, let’s go.”

they continue walking towards soti’s house in silence. suddenly, squirrel and soti spot mrlongdo watching “rent a girlfriend” (or whatever) on a crusty old ipad. “eww.” they look at each other and laugh. mrlongdo sees them and naruto-runs away.

as the two approach soti’s house, they notice something odd. it was quiet. too quiet. usually you could hear the screams of children coming from soti’s basement, but not today. squirrel and soti look at each other, but continue on.

they go up to the front door. “huh…” squirrel says. “i swear i hear music… and laughing…” soti look confused and slowly opens the door.

wooden greets them and laughs. “hey guys!! the wiki decided to crash at your place soti, hope that’s okay.”

soti’s jaw drops as he witnesses his whole house being destroyed by other people.

squirrel immediately runs in and joins the crowd.

soti steps inside and surveys his surroundings. quincy and ash are retelling the story of quincy’s super awesome mega cool soccer games to a bunch of others. oj man is consuming the two gallons of orange juice that was in soti’s fridge. apple juice person is crying under the table because there isn’t any apple juice in sight.

wooden is chatting it up with can’t and nour. shin and pog are in the corner, laughing and drawing happily.

a random weezer song (lets say… surf wax america) blares in the background.

Suddenly a van pulls up and ILCAD and a bunch more people along with some furries steal SOTI and start beating him up and shooting him. "We have found the devil everyone" ILCAD exclaimed. "in the name of mweblstan we shall kill him! mweblstan mweblstan mweblstan mweblstan mweblstan"

Thomas reincarnated and burst into the door and started to run over ILCAD with God Beloved Train. Everyone just stares at Thomas.

SOTI is unconcious. "those furries aren't mine guys," yelled squirrel.

"Thomas that almost cancels out everything you've done," said ash.

"Come on guys! we gotta get SOTI to the hospital!" yelled Thomas.

Everone decided to ignore thomas and resumed the party. Thomas was then gunned down by vecna and some other mweblism people.

Soti woke up ten hours later just in time for school.

Monday
Soti put on his dress and decided to go to school. On his way to squirrel's house, he saw thomas

"How is this guy alive?"-soti

"Beats me"-Long do

"Get the fuck out of here you weeb"-Soti said as he chucked long do out of the window

Soti rang squirrels doorbell and squirrel came out. He had a bruise bc his dad hit him.

At school...
Soti and squirrel walked into school. Everone heard about sotis party, and the first time in his life, people liked him. This got into his head, so he decided to mock the gacha kids table. He struted over there with a swagger, and decided to make jokes about them. Anime loverfan cried

"That's it you fucking sickos, you bullied the wrong table"-Vamakinlorfang

The gacha kids took out guns and started to shoot up the school.

"Run for the gymn"-Soti

Everone decided to run for the gymn

Rily strapped some bombs to herself and decided to blow up a wing of the school. Luckly, only irrelevant losers died, like man of lizards and tails.

"You killed my friend!-Vama screached

"Techincaly, she killed herself"-Bystander

Vama shoots the bystander and throws a tantrum. She pings random users

"Don't wory vama, we'll bitch too"-random owl house wiki user

In the gymn...
"Ok guys, the baracade won't hold well, so we'll have to sacrafice people"-Squirrel

"But who? I don't want to sacrafice innocent american lives"-Soti

"How about we sacrafice minorites"-Long do

"Great idea. You go first" -Soti

Everonje threw long do out

"That felt goood."-Squirrel

"You did nothing but purr you pussy"-Soti

"At least i dont cross dress"-Squirrel

"Your a furry, same thing"-Soti cried

Meenwhile

"Have you heard baout rent a girlfirend?"-Long do

"Omg yes, I love it"-Vame

"What's your favorite part?"-Long do

"Whenerver a adult fucks a minor"-Mr natsu

Everone nodded in agreement

"Omg, i have some art I made of 2 minors fucking"-vama

They then started to talk about anime stuff, so long do used this as an excuse to slip away

Back in the gymn...

"Now who do we sacrafice?"-Soti

"You decide, since your in charge"-Squirrel

"Stop being a bitch"Soti

"Eh, eh guys, back in my homeland we don't fight"-Ash

Everone looked at ash, teh foreing exchange student from canada. He was chugging down mapple syrup and had hockey sticks in his backpack.They pushed him out

"Shit, we let the small dong guy escape"-vama

"Hey, here comes another one"-radio

Ash then clocked raido with hockey sticks and ran

"Nooo radio"-vama

"We will avenge him"-randos

Soti and squirrel kept sending out minorties until they+ wooden and thomas were the only ones left

They heard quincy saying spannish stuf and heard gunshots

All of them deicded to get out of the gymn and fight back. Thomas made a call, but he wouldnt tell who.

They then meet up with long do and ash.

"Thanks alot guys"-Long do

"How the hell are you alive?"-Soti

"That doesn't matter, we have a plan to kill the gacha kids"-Ash

"How?"-Soti

"So we-"-Ash

"Should I care?"-Laughed soti

Everone looked at him with disgust besides thomas, who was laughing

"Anyways, we use my maple syrup to flood the school and kill the gacha kids"-ASh

"Wouldnt that kill us too?-Soti

"No dumbass, we'll escape first"Squirrel

"Shut up squirrel"-Soti

"They're having a fight"-Whispered thomas to long do and ash

"Guys, did you forget about me?"-Wooden

"No, my white queen" Thomas

The gacha kids heard that and shot wooden down.

"NOOOOO"Screamed thomas

Thomas then decided to go rambo on the gacha kids.

He shot randos ten times in the head, and then threw her body at anime lover. Before he cried, thomas ran over him ten times. Weebos shot thomas, but thomas shrugged it of and ran over her too. Some creative wiki people shot at thomas, but he ran tham over. Finnaly, Natsu shot thomas and thomas died.

"You fucking train, you killed my discord kitten"-Natsu

"Any last words before I rape you?"-Natsu

"Alluh akbar"-Thomas said smilling

"What the fu-"-Natsu

Brutus heard the message and flew a plane into natsu, destroying that wing of that school. A bunch of mweblstan people then came out of the plane and started shooting gacha kids down, but it was pretty easy since most of them cut themselves. Masquardes tried to ban them, but then relized she had no powers and vecna shot her. As the gacha kids were getting shot, squirrel, soti, ash and long do tried to escape, but fang and radio blocked them

"Give up gacha nerds, you lost so go do your hw"-Soti

"never, bitching about my mental problems to random people is better"-Vama

"And now, time to die for picking on my friends."-Vama said

Vama then shot soti, but squirrel blocked it

"Noooo, why you!!"-Soti

"Because i'm black and I love you"-Squirrel

"Fool got in my way, now time for you to go"-Vama

Vama then shot soti. She and radio tied up long do and ash to hold for ransom.

In heaven
"Wait, why am I here, i was gay and crossdressed?"-Soti

"My child, it is not too late for you, you were brave or smth and tried to kill those devil worshipers. Take my blessing, be a holy man and come back to life. "-Ominous voice

"Ok"-Sot

Back in school...
"What do we do about these guys"-Radio

"Idk, we escape and leave them here"-Vama

Soti's body them morphed. He gained musscles and lost the dress(he had a shirt now)

"What the f-"-Radio

Soti threw a cross and cut radio in half

"Noooooo"-Vama

Soti then took a gun and shot vama, but it missed.

"Fuck you soti, you missed the shot bc your gay."-Vama lauged

"The names not soti bitch, it's mweble. I didnt miss"-Mweble

More mweblstan people answered mweble's call. "HEIL MWEBLSTAN!!!!" they yelled

mweble shot a maply syurp container and it exploded

mweble long do thomas and ash escaped while vama and the mweblstan people drowned bc of the mayple syrup.

Tuesday
Thomas was being a badass and staying up ten minuets past his bedtime. He was being a cool kid, and learned some bad words to seem extra cool.

Suddenly there was a knock on Thomas' door. His grandmother had always warned him of opening the door when he was home alone, but he was feeling a little extra edgy today and rebelled against her wishes. He opened the door, and it was Michael Jackson.

"Whoah, a white girl!" Thomas exclaimed in awe.

"I'm a black dude" Michael Jackson replied. Thomas looked Michael Jackson up and down. How could Michael Jackson be a black dude when their skin was white and their hair down so low?

"Are your parents home?" Michael Jackson asked. "No, my mom is out getting a new turban." Thomas replied.

"And your father?"

"He's at work. He's a pilot."

Michael Jackson then grabbed Thomas and ran away with him. Thomas is thrown into the back of a bus. He looks around and Iceceam, BenGMan, and Mrlongdo are also in the bus.

"Aw man you guys are kidnapped to?" Iceceam said.

Mrlongdo looks up from his ipad. "We're kidnapped?" He points at the man in the passenger seat. "But he offered me free candy". It's Natsumaru.

After some silence, Iceceam then said "anyone got a QUASWONT?"

"why would anyone have a quaswont?" Thomas said.

Mrlongdo rolled his eyes. "He says it every 5 minutes for no reason."

BenGMan starts banging his head against the side of the car door for no reason. The bus then stops. Mrlongdo's ipad dies, and he starts to bawl.

Michael Jackson looks around. "Okay, this looks like there are no witnesses here. Let's do it." Natsumaru and Michael Jackson start walking over to the innocent children in the back of the bus. Thomas freaks out, he knows what is about to happen to them. "This was something I always planned on DOING to a white girl not something that someone would DO to me!"

But then in the knick of time, BenGMan's brother and sister bust into the bus with their sheer strength.

"mama! dada!" BenGMan says in excitement that his brother and sister arrived.

They start to beat up Michael Jackson and Natsumaru.

Thomas found his chance to escape, and busted out the others too.

Meanwhile SOTI and Squirrel were beating up ILCAD. And this time, Mweblestan didn't come over to help.

Ilcad cries in a corner while Soti walks away looking like a gigachad. The people who thomas busted out start crying because their ipads broke.

Wednesday
Squirrel walks into the 7-11 to get some Icees and talk with Thomas, who works there.

"I never understood how you're allowed to work here" Squirrel says while picking the watermelon flavored Icee "They typically don't allow 9 year olds to get jobs".

Thomas mops the floor with a turban. "Yeah, but I'm willing to work for half the pay"

Squirrel hands Thomas a 100 dollar bill for the Icee. Thomas gives him his $84.75 of change. "You really are the whitest guy I ever done seen" Thomas says

"what"

SOTI walks into the 7-11. SOTI sits down to unload some deep thoughts with the guys. "You guys ever feel like... you were born in the wrong generation?"

Thomas perks up. "All the time! My generation actually allows women to have rights!"

Squirrel sighs a sigh that leaves something to be desired. "I'll admit, sometimes I DO wish I was born in a cooler generation... actually, I can just lie about that, it's not a big deal"

SOTI sighs a deep sigh. "All the good memes came out when I was a fetus. It hurts, guys. I hate all the modern memes and trends..."

"Then why do you indulge yourself into them" Squirrel asks

"I don't know, the modern memes entertain my attention span" Thomas says while stacking cans into two orderly towers of cans.

SOTI takes his smart glasses off "Okay but what if... we could go back in time?"

"That sounds amazing! I could sleep with Wilbert Awdry in his prime!" Thomas says, putting the finishing touch on his magnum opus of can towers.

Squirrel uses their brain for their first time in their life "But we don't have a way of doing so"

SOTI uses his brain for the trillionth time of his life. "Leave that to me! I made a time machine with my genius!"

"oh okay cool" Thomas says, proud of his two can towers.

Suddenly brutus walks in, with paper in his hands. He starts to fold it. "Hey how's it going guys".

"WE'RE GOING TO TIME TRAVEL!" SOTI shouts triumphantly.

Brutus finishes his paper airplane "Cool." He throws his paper airplane.

It hits the two towers.

"NOT AGAIN" Thomas shreiks "THEY'LL NEVER FORGIVE US THIS TIME, BRUTUS!" Thomas frantically tries to put the cans back in place, but alas, they have forever been changed.

SOTI pulls out his time machine and time machines himself, Thomas, and Squirrel. Brutus is left alone. It's his shift for 7-11, anyway.

SOTI and Thomas and also Squirrel are now in a new time period. "Wow this is cool" Thomas says.

Someone walks up to Squirrel and starts disrespecting Squirrel. "Wow, no respect towards women" SOTI notes.

Thomas accidentally steps on a homeless person. "Ugh hobos all over"

SOTI observes with his brain that a lot of people seem sick. "Must be crappy or overpriced healthcare..."

SOTI puts his fingers to his mind. "Think, think, think... BRAIN BLAST! alright, high amount of divisiveness, disrespect, poverty, and poor health... we must be really far back in the past!"

SOTI checks his time machine. "Alright, we are-

....

we only went one day backwards in time...."

Someone litters. Squirrel gets on all fours and fetches it, then brings it back to SOTI. "Now is not the time for fetch, Squirrel!" SOTI shouts

"Sorry soti, my instincts kicked in"-Squirrel

"It's ok squirrel-san, it gets to the best of us"-Long do

"Who the fuck let this weeb join us?"-Soti

"I assumed i was invited bc thomas joined too"-Long do

"We only need him for diversity, plus he'll throw a tantrum if we leave him"-Ash

"Can i still come?"-long do

"No, go to that anime convention"-Soti

"Ok uwu"-Long do as he put on a anime costume of naruto

Long do then did a nauroto run as everone looked at him and cringed

"I was tempted to go with him bc of the anime girls"-Thomas

"of course you would"-Soti

"Where's the damn time machine"-Squirrel

"We went on this whole sidquest because of it!"-Thomas

"Relax, it's right here"-Soti

Soti then pulled out the machine

"Where should we go?"-Soti

"How about nowhere?"-Vama

"What the fuck, I thought ash's mayple syrup killed you?"-Thomas

"No, I held my breath until the doors of the school opned, letting the mayple syurp out."-Vama

"Alright, it's 4 of us vs you, I think we can take on a femboy."-Soti

"But we have a nine year old, 1 furry, and a canadian"-Soti

"And I have kimberton-Vama

"What is that?"-Thomas

"Oh shit"-Ash

Vama the pings kimberton

"Give vama the machine or I will delete you from the universe."-Kimberton

"Wait, she drew minor nsfw, why are you helping her?"-Ash

"Silly child, although we claim we take no side, we really just favour people who dickride us, and vama is the biggest one in the world."-Kimberton

"My lord, kill them and give me the machine"-Vama

"Why do you want it in the first place?"-Soti

"I want to errase you and all the trolls from existence. You ruined my life and killed my friends"-Vama

"Didn't you shoot a school up just bc soti said one thing to your friend?"-Squirrel

"Shut up, stop using facts and logic."-Vama

Kimberton then using her fandom powers tied everone up.

"Any last words?"-Vama

"If you say that, it's a proven fact you will loose."-Soti

"Whatever, kimberton can defeat any mayple syrup stuff you launch"-Vama

"I wasnt talking about that"-Soti

"All mweblestanis, attack, your lord is in danger"-Soti

Orange and all the mweblestanins then ran over kimebrtron with a truck. Before she could ban them, they starte dusing troll blasts,and they evunatly killed her

"nooo, how?"-Vama

"The power of mweble"-Soti

Soti then shot vama mulitple times

"What do we do about the time machine?"-Soti

"Can I have it? I'm planning on being a plane pilot and want to test out my skills in the past so any damage done wont affect anybody in the present."-Thomas

"Go ahead, go to my birthyear, 2001."-Soti

"alr, see you in a bit"-Thomas

The gang then split apart, as thomas became a pilot. Squirrel went to califorinia and Ash tried to learn surfing to impress his crush quincy.

The end
Except it's not. Read this one:Fanon:The Adventures of SOTI and Squirrel 2