Fanon:Destined For Greatness (Fanfic, Part 1)

THIS IS AN WORK IN PROGRESS

(warning: contains swearing)

Part 1 (Nate's POV)

She could have called on anybody else.

There were twenty-two other students in the class, and they had their hands in the air, Teddy, Francis, Dee Dee, Sheila, Gina (of course), Sharon, even Nick Blonksky (who's usually picks his nose) had his hand raised in the air, she could have called on one of them, right?

Well, take a wild fucking guess on who she calls on.

Mrs. Clara Godfrey: NATE!

SHE ALWAYS DOES THIS! She calls on me even when i dont know the answer, and she can even tell i dont know it, She's like a big, ugly, fat, nasty, rabid dog.

''I sit straight up in my seat and try to focus on what Mrs. Godfrey said. my ears and cheeks start to burn and I'm starting to sweat.''

Nate: Umm (cough), Mrs. Godfrey, what was the question again?

Great, I can feel the entire class looking at me.

Ms. Godfrey steps away from the chalkboard, and then she starts to march towards me with the most sadistic expression on her face, I can see that her face is flushed and tiny flecks of spittle on the corner of her mouth, I brace myself.....

''And then i hear the bell ringing, In fact, it keeps ringing, but it doesn't sound like the school bell. it sounds more like an alarm clock, MY alarm clock.''

''I then wake up, and notice i'm in my bedroom and in my pajamas, I was dreaming! I let out a huge sigh of relief, and then I shut the alarm clock off, and go back to sleep.''

Nate: ZZZZZZZZZZ

But I only get around 20 seconds of sleep before my dad walks in my room and yanks the goddamn sheets outta my bed.

Martin Wright: Nate, it's time to get up and go to school.

''Hey, thanks a lot, asshole. Way to break it to me gently. Nice parenting.''

''Actually, he's fairly decent at his parenting skills (he makes tuna casserole that smells and tastes like piss and he ends up getting our house egged at Halloween because of his sucktastic choices for halloween candy), but he's rather tame compared to the aggressive soccer dads i've seen at Little League games. It's just that Dad's kind of really dumb. He has no idea what it's like to be in my shoes.''

(He also incapable of relating to ANYBODY under the age of 30 because he's bald)

''How long has it been since he's been in school-30 or 45 years? I think he's forgotten what its' like to be in a building that smells like a combination of monkey shit, ammonia, mystery meat and chalk dust. He cant remember what it's like to be an average seventh grader.''

''Not like I'm an average 7th Grader. Okay, I'll admit that i'm not exactly like Joe Honor Roll, But answer me this: When I get out in to the real world, is anybody gonna give two shits whenever not I know who was Warren G. Harding's vice president? (And dont even pretend you know who the fuck it was, because you dont) The point is, I want to use my talents for more than just memorizing useless shit. I'm meant for bigger and better things. I'm....''

DESTINED

FOR

GREATNESS

''I'm still not 100% sure what KIND of greatness I'm destined for, but i'll figure it out when I get older. I've got plenty of options. I keep a list in my closet door about this very subject.''

''There's also shit I definitely WON'T achieve greatness in, like opera, synchronized swimming, being friends with wimps like Ronnie Dwyer, ice-skating, and cat grooming. Nuff said. ''

''Let's get back to the truly unfortunate fact that today's a school day. BUT WHAT KIND?! You know, not all school days are ranked equal. You can rank them by category.''

If I were to grade the different kinds of school days report-card style, Here's how they would go:

A+: FIELD TRIP DAYS

''I'm not talking about those lame-ass field trips (the kind where the teacher makes you walk around the neighborhood you live in on Earth Day picking up trash), But those all-day-get-on-a-bus-and-go-somewhere-fun field trips. Even if they give you a worksheet in the hope you might have to learn something, you can come up with an excuse not to do it. That's what I did last year when we went to the aquarium.''

(DRAMATIC FLASHBACK)

Nate: Mr. Galvin, a walrus ate my homework.

B: SPECIAL EVENT DAYS

This is when classroom time gets eaten up by something much better, like a movie (Movies such as Terminator 2: Judgement Day and Napoleon Dynamite but not like Titanic and/or Twilight'', those movies suck balls) or an assembly. Or better yet, some sort of emergency. Last spring, Mrs. Czerwicki's wig suddenly burst into flames and set off the smoke alarm in the faculty lounge. We got to evacuate the building and ended up playing Ultimate Frisbee and soccer on the lawn for two hours, even though we got detention for 2 days, it was so worth it.''

C-: SUBSTITUTE TEACHER DAYS

''I think everyone can agree when I say that substitute teachers are almost better than the real teachers. By "better", I mean "total dumbasses and more clueless". The absolute best subs are the ones who just graduated college and never taught a second in their entire lives. Frankly, they're extremely dumb, or just plain gullible.''

D: NORMAL DAYS

F: ABSOLUTE FUCKING TRAINWRECKS