Talk:The Poll War (from War Correspondent Gollum)/@comment-135.0.124.242-20170811134110

This is my account of The Great Poll War. I do not wish to personally attack anyone, I'm just writing this for my own amusement. Literally just for the laughs. Enjoy- Gollum

The Great Poll War
Brain Damage I Suffered During The Poll War

Label
June 15th 2017 - August 9th 2017

Contents
[show]==Prologue== I was on my GoComics hiatus. March 27th, 2017 I told everyone I would go and read Big Nate: First Class, but I found I was just sick of Big Nate in general. So after about two-three months, I came back. Don't ask me what brought me back, because I'm not entirely sure myself. Mother of God... t felt like coming home after a long holiday. You know how your house has a distinct smell? And when you breathe it in after you've been away for so long, a smile forms on your face, as fond childhood memories come back? It's a nice feeling and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That's what I thought my return to GoComics would be like. But instead, it felt like someone ransacked my house, left garbage everywhere as well as littering a few strategically placed human corpses in my lounge room.

Yeah, that's right. When I returned to GoComics, the air was filled with the stench of impending dread.

The First Poll
On June 5th, 2017, the first poll was typed into GoComics by a user known as Mrs. Godfrey. A name that at the time, was just associated with Nate's sadistic teacher, while today, we know her as the hypocritical, lie-spewing troublemaker of the comment section. She tries to "keep the peace" and always claims that she's being attacked while she posts three-four paragraph WHINGE sessions about how she is just trying to help and she is the victim, all while perpetuating the spam and hate.

But that's a digression. A bit of information that will not become useful until later in the story.

The first poll has been photographed by yours truly- June 5th, 2017 I mean it began innocently enough (albeit it was kinda a bad joke) but at least it was less annoying than the comment section we have today.

After the fifth of June, Mrs. Godfrey seemed to have pissed off... for a little while (either that or she deleted her comments idk I wasn't there).

She returned on June 8th, 2017 to make possibly the most retarded poll I've ever read not gonna lie boys. June 8th, 2017  "Poll- how many bananas have you ate today???" - Mrs. Godfrey, June 8th, 2017.









Copycats
On June 9th, 2017 after the banana poll, there seemed to be a copycat, following in Mrs. Godfrey's footsteps. A user by the name of "Akshay777". The user made an equally ridiculous poll but at least (well, I hope at least) that Akshay777 was writing the poll like that ON purpose to poke fun at Mrs. Godfrey. Or maybe the user was actually inspired by Mrs. Godfrey and was dead serious, I don't know. You can never tell on the internet. June 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">There was another copycat that day named "NathanHain" who posted a comment going on about how he wanted to be "popular like Mrs. Godfrey" June 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Unfortunately for NathanHain, nobody replied to him because apparently nobody cared. I give a shout out to this guy for at least trying to do a poll related to the strip and not about bananas or frickin' toes for God's sake.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">The next copycat is a very interesting case, mainly because he copied a copycat. Which is a WHOLE new level of pathetic. This was a user named "Chad Applewhite" and the user was adamant that he/she/it/attack helicopter (I don't want to offend anyone so I'm using pronouns that are PC) would become popular by being an annoying little bastard like Mrs. Godfrey. June 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Then, the user has the audacity to reply to his/her/its own comment a record 17 times!!!! Mother of God! June 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Never have I felt more like Will Smith in Men In Black when he says this line. That is how I felt towards Chad Applewhite while I was reading through the comments.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">June 11th, 2017, along came the user "Comix 'R' Us" (though he went by a different name back then). He instead of doing a poll, did a "survey".

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">This nonsense continued for a long time. So long, that I won't be able to list them all. The big take away from this was that it was getting out of hand. It was spreading, it was growing and it was mutating.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">The intellectual contagion, set off by Mrs. Godfrey had infected most of the comment section. And like the world after a massive plague, the comment section was never going to be the same. ==War Breaks Out== <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Comix 'R' Us was not thinking that fateful day on June 15th, 2017. Or maybe he was. Whatever he did, he unwittingly began The Great Poll War. It all started when he thought (probably) that "hey won't it be top kek if I say for today's poll... How many banks have you robbed? lol, that's a good one. Time to type that on GoComics." June 15th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">And that's exactly what he did. Poor bugger was just joking but it was in poor taste. Over the last few days, it was already getting heated in the comments over these stupid polls and this joke poll was the last straw that broke the camel's back. There was public outrage. One user even told Comix 'R' Us to shut up! That's a bit extreme, isn't it?

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">People began to argue and soon they comment section, once peaceful and unified, had broken apart, into two sides. Those who were against the puns (or The Anti-Pun Powers) and the ones who were for the puns (The Trolls).

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Here's some irony for you literary folks out there, when the polls began, BiggerNate 91 was happy with the puns! June 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Then pretty soon, like not even a week after, he starts to get a bit intolerable of the polls. June 15th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">What a difference six days makes am I right? Sheesh! Note that the user "JP Puzzlewhiz" says: "They're harmless. Don't like 'em? Scroll pass 'em." - JP Puzzlewhiz, June 15th, 2017.

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<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;"> The comment section has another addition to the belligerents! Introducing, the Old People Who Don't Quite Know How Comment Sections Work. June 15th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">...That like puns as well. Keep a look out for these guys. There will be nothing but puns and polls for the next few months, though the puns will disappear faster.

Gollum's Entry Into The War
<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">I sat in my cave, sipping my peppermint tea, as I pondered what could be going on in Big Nate now. Maybe Lincoln Peirce finally wrote an interesting storyline. Besides, I had left during the Daisy storyline (God was that a waste of everybody's time). I was ready to give Big Nate a second try. After all, I was gone since late March and two and a half months already passed. I put my mug down and signed into GoComics.

It was  June 16th 2017  and I read the comic for the day. It wasn't that bad, I'll be honest (though it was to go downhill soon). I checked the comment section and- June 16th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;"> "Daily poll: Who's a zombie and who's a human? (Be nice please!)." -Comix 'R' Us, June 16th, 2017.

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<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;"> I, I, I, I can't even FATHOM what was going through this child's head when he wrote that poll! I mean, last time I checked, there wasn't any of the undead on GoComics!

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">This received an understandable amount of backlash as many commenters were already upset over the amount of spam comments! I decided that my first comment back would be one joking about it. "Poll: On a scale of 1-10, how annoying do you find the Big Nate comment section now that it has turned into a spamming ground?" -Gollum, June 16th, 2017.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-top:0.4em;margin-bottom:0.5em;font-size:14px;"> June, 16th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;"> That comment was featured and got 27 replies (legitimate replies not Mrs. Godfrey featured comment logic where she replies to her own comment like forty times).

That's right people. My old profile pic Gollum was back.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-top:0.4em;margin-bottom:0.5em;font-size:14px;">He immediately joined the fight and defended the comment section's integrity.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Fierce fighting/arguing/finger pointing continued for the next two months. Many innocent brain cells were murdered and it seemed like it was never going to end. People complained and victimized themselves to get featured comment and the cycle continued.

The Belligerents
<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Sides were being taken early on. As I mentioned before, there were about three sides in June 2017. Currently, there are two slowly diminishing sides The Sane People and The Butthurt Whiners.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">As of August 7th, 2017 the sides are looking something like this:

The Sane People

 * Trapper Clicker
 * Gollum
 * JonathonWG (he IS on our side after all, despite being an uptight guy who can't take a joke)
 * ItzNateBOI (he may be annoying but he has some good points)
 * BigNateFan
 * Tue Elung Jensen
 * Lhenn
 * Jimmer Fredette
 * Turtwing
 * LittlePiggyOink

The Butthurt Whiners

 * Mrs. Godfrey
 * OPYoshi
 * BiggerNate91
 * 1004Mike
 * Dee Dee Dorcas Holloway (New and old)
 * Sartaj Bedi
 * Ultrabot7436

The End Of The Poll War
<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">One day, it all stopped. As if we all thought simultaneously, "this has got to end". And so it did. August 9th, 2017was the historic day. We all lay down our weapons and relaxed. We enjoyed the strip and swapped intelligent opinions and ideas. The comment section was in harmony. August 9th, 2017 <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">We learned a valuable lesson. The Poll War To End All Poll Wars was a costly exercise and a rollercoaster of emotional hardship and clashing ideals. Though at the end of it, good had prevailed in the comment section and it was restored to its former glory for the next generation of commenters to enjoy.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">And when the next commenters go back and read our comments from June 15th 2017 to August 9th 2017, they will know..

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">...their spam free comment section was earnt by their fore commenters.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">This is war correspondent Gollum, signing off.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">_________________________________________________________

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;">Found this in the history, for some reason, I can't paste it into the doc, so here ya go Gollum.