Fanon:If Wiki Users Were in Bird Box

The following article contains fictional suicide, a topic that may be sensitive to some users. Viewer discretion is advised.

ItsP-dog
"I won't let some monster get in the way of my morning workout," P-dog declared confidently. He put in his Airpods, changed his clothes, and went outside. He began stretching his bulging calves, and then his gargantuan biceps. Just as he was thinking of his ex, Lauren, the Bird Box monster appeared in front of him. It appeared as a screenshot of his profile page, but modified. His edit count was at 0. He was no longer an admin on the Big Nate Comments Wiki. He had a blocked tag next to his name too. It was too much for P-dog. He flexed his biceps, and punched himself in the face. His skull cracked open and he died.

The end.

ToPhu, Pig Lover, and ComicsCreatorz
ToPhu stumbled around the shopping mall. He was blindfolded, but he could still feel the presence of the corpses that filled the mall floor.

Footsteps.

ToPhu took out his machete and brandished it in the direction of the footsteps. It was too dangerous to look. "Who's there?" he called.

"Don't hurt us," responded a voice.

"Us? Who else is with you?"

"My brother. I promise, we're human. We also have food." Tophu was skeptical, but he was starving. He hadn't eaten since the recent mass suicides.

"Would you mind sharing?" There wasn't a response, but the person walked over to Tophu.

"I'm Pig Lover, by the way. The taller one is my brother, ComicsCreatorz." Tophu dropped his food. Despite the imminent threat, Tophu removed his blindfold in sheer appall. There were two teenagers standing in front of him. Even though they were blindfolded, their resemblance was too powerful. They were definitely brothers.

"The-" stuttered Tophu. "The monster tricked me."

"What? No, we're real peo-" It was too late. Tophu swung his machete and sliced off his head. His lifeless body fell to the marble floor of the mall.

"Damn," whispered ComicsCreatorz. "Damn."

The end.

ComicRater
"Son!" hollered Rater's dad. "We're leaving!"

"Wait! I need Gizmo!" Blindfolded, Rater frantically searched for his stuffed mallard in his closet. "Where is he?" he muttered to himself.

"Hurry up!"

"Okay! I suppose it won't hurt to take off my blindfold for a few seconds." Rater removed his blindfold to search for his lost toy duck. But, he caught sight of what was outside his window. Floating there, was a giant Chad Applewhite.

"Did someone mention cake?" it said in a squeaky voice.

"No..." Rater suddenly lost control over his own body. His hand began reaching for a baseball bat. "NO." However, the hand wasn't reaching for the bat after all. Rater took out his cell phone from his left pocket. He opened Discord.

Rater took a picture of himself. "@everyone," he began typing.

He attached the picture.

Enter.

He typed his real name.

Enter.

He typed his birthday.

Enter.

It was too much for Rater's brain. Such self-contradiction caused ComicRater's brain to shut down, lobe by lobe. He was dead within seconds.

The end.