Fanon:The Misadventures of Pedro Goode (Part 2)

The Cliff

Pedro skipped up the steps of Doom Pit Hill as he hummed the My Little Pony Theme Song. Doom Pit Hill was the tallest point in the whole city. It hung 40 feet over the highway, hence the name Doom Pit Hill. Pedro sat down on the gravel path as he enjoyed the beautiful view. Then, a familiar voice turned his face red. It was Lauren, the prettiest girl in 7^th grade. She had also been Pedro’s crush since the 5^th grade.

Wanting to impress her, Pedro stood on a tall rock by the edge and flexed his muscles. Lauren looked over and shook her head as she rolled her eyes. But Pedro didn’t give up. He spotted a small, liftable boulder by the rock. He climbed down and, with his bulging muscles, lifted it. Lauren looked over with interest. Pedro climbed back onto the rock while holding the boulder and lifted it up. Lauren waved with a blush on her face.

Forgetting he was holding the rock, Pedro stupidly tried to wave back. As a result, the boulder toppled on him, and he slid off the edge. Pedro tumbled down the deep slope while shrieking like a little girl. A lopsided tree stopped his fall, and just as he sighed with relief, the boulder rolled down and clamped his left foot between the branches. Pedro screamed with pain; it was so high pitched that a windshield of a car driving down the highway shattered. The vehicle drove off the road and went out of sight.

The pain eventually went away, but the acrophobia didn’t. Sweat dripped off Pedro’s face like a leaking tap as he stared at the highway 40 feet below him. Then, his right foot slipped from the branch, and Pedro was left hanging from the tree upside-down.

Then, a large bird started circling the tree. Pedro just stared; he was sure that the bird was harmless. The bird squawked and landed on a branch of the tree. Pedro smiled at it and started making squawking noises to imitate it. Suddenly, the bird dropped a massive load of white, wet poop on him and flew away.

The poop slowly dripped up his shirt and went closer to his mouth. Pedro nervously blew at it, but it was ineffective. Just as he opened his mouth widely for a strong gust of wind, the poop plopped into his mouth, and Pedro swallowed it.

Pedro gagged loudly. Despite being upside-down, he could still feel the wet turd going down his digestive system. Then, he heard a soft, familiar voice again.

“Pedro?! Are you alright?! Do I need to call an ambulance?!” shouted Lauren. Pedro had never been so happy to see a girl in his life. Just as he was about to respond, he felt an acute pain in his stomach. Immediately after, he felt an instant urge to poop. Pedro tried to hold it back, but it was no use. Watery diarrhea soaked his shorts and began dripping onto the highway 40 feet below.

“Ew!” shouted Lauren covering her mouth. Disgusted, she ran off and left Pedro alone, hanging from the tree.

Pedro began to sob; his only hope was now gone.

“Stupid stomach!” he shouted angrily. Pedro began punching his stomach, trying to make himself feel better. Then, just as his fist hit his stomach, Pedro heard a loud crack. Pedro shuddered, thinking he had cracked his rib.

Pedro began feeling his ribs, all of them were fine. “Phew!” he said with relief. Then, there was another crack. Pedro looked up, and the branch snapped. The boulder stayed, however. Pedro thought it was hopeless, but there was another tree! He tried to grab it with his hands and missed, but his shirt didn’t. The bottom of his shirt hung onto a large branch.

The shirt came off as it hung onto the branch, but it couldn’t come off Pedro’s enormous head. It stayed around his neck, and Pedro slowly suffocated to death as he hung from the tree.

The end.